Navigating Leadership Challenges: Understanding Your Reactive Behaviors and Their Antidotes

I have an ugly side. When I feel under threat, I become arrogant and distant. And if you're unlucky, I add some defensiveness and become autocratic behaviours.

There are three default behaviours we go back to when we feel threatened. We become Complying. We become Protective. And, or, we become Controlling.

Every business needs leaders who comply, people who protect, and people who control. But they need leaders who go there out of choice, not out of an intrinsic, knee-jerk response to make themselves feel safer.

But there are antidotes to these behaviours. There are places we can go when we feel ourselves being sucked into our Reactive behaviours.

For Complying where we try to please, accommodate, and seek belonging, we return to our purpose and vision. What do you believe? Where are we heading? How can I make a better decision to get me there?

For Protecting where we become distant, arrogant, and critical, we can be authentic. Courageous Authenticity is about saying this is what is happening to me now; this is what I feel. It's about being aware and open to what is going on inside.

For Controlling where we become autocratic, overly ambitious, and driven, we can step into a Relationship. We seek to collaborate, build intentional relationships with our team, and develop our own interpersonal skills.

Leaders are not born. They are made and come into their own when things get really difficult.

There is a Chinese saying: wisdom begins by giving something a name. So name your default Reactive behaviour and name the antidote.